Life + Business Didn't Go As Planned When I Quit My Job

I imagined life after I quit my job to work from home to be completely magical 100% of the time.

I imagined every day being filled with roses, good vibes, and complete bliss for whatever I did that day.

I imagined all of the money flowing to me and fresh new clients bursting through the doors ready to work with me.

I mean, I quit my job to empower other women through money. That means I couldn’t possible struggle through my own money beliefs and financial situation.. right? Wrong.

The universe presented me with a  big assignment the day I walked out of work on my last day. 

I knew that I had a big assignment coming my way, I listened when my inner knowing told me it was time to leave the only job I knew for the last 4 years. I just thought the assignment was going to be a little more glamorous than it presented itself to be.

Instead, I was presented with bills I wasn’t sure how to pay, stress and anxiety from lack of cash flow, and a lot of self doubt. And when I head down the self-doubt trail, it spirals into something fierce. If you’ve been following along with my blog posts, you might have read the one where I talk about hitting my own financial rock bottom. The few weeks after I quit my job, I resonated with that rock bottom because I saw some similarities in my current situation. I was embarrassed to admit that after feeling so sure I made the right decision to quit my job, I was second guessing that decision merely a few weeks later.

But what was different this time, compared to the other shaky financial moments in my life, is that I handled each day, bill, moment of unsureness completely differently. Yes, I had my freak outs and frustrated moments with my significant other, but at the end of the day I felt completely taken care of. I felt that way because it’s what I believed.

I learned that this moment of financial struggle (although I don’t even like calling it a struggle because the word struggle only has as much power as you give it) was a spiritual assignment for me to learn from. I learned how to handle unexpected bills, past due notices, and communication with my parter completely differently than I ever have before. Everything that I learned boiled down to one single concept: gratitude. 

Showing gratitude is incredibly powerful. It’s a tool that should be used daily, yet it's completely underrated in society. I learned that the universe brought me back to this place of feeling unsure about my finances to show me that even when you feel like you don’t have enough, you do. Even though we were behind on our credit card statement and we had to have our cable and internet shut off, I learned that I have so much to be grateful for. So fucking much. And when you put on your lenses of gratitude, you put on the armor of abundance. 

The root of abundance is showing gratitude for the life you have.

You are not defined by your current financial situation, therefore it cannot effect you unless you let it. All you have is this moment in time and right now in this moment as you sit here and read this, you are completely taken care of. You are exactly where you need to be. Take a deep breath on that. I know I have had to take a lot of deep breaths on the thought of being taken care of completely in each moment.

In the past, I had loved to run on my stress mind. I truly believed that nothing good would happen to me unless I busted my ass, made a shit ton of money, and had things to show off for going through the above. I never felt good about that belief so I decided to change it into one that felt in alignment with my heart’s desires. I choose to believe that everything happens to me because it is of the highest good. I also choose to believe that I can completely trust myself, even if the thought of that scares me a little.

I learned that there is a lesson to absorb in every moment that is happening for us as long as we are willing to listen. It’s easy to get caught up in your own victim story when you continue to think that bad things and situations happen to you instead of for you. Once I realized that what I was going through was meant as a lesson to learn from, I began to see what I needed to learn quickly. Then my situation started to shift because I began to change my perspective around it. 

I began to feel grateful for all of the support I have around me. No matter what, I realized that my support system can’t be taken away from me. My lack of money showed me all of the things I have that money can’t touch. I used to believe that I had to have money as a status symbol, a way of control, and if I didn’t have it, I was simply a failure. That’s just the lie of fear and doubt. Money is a tool meant to help support you and provide you freedom to go about the desires of your heart, but not having it isn’t the end all, be all. Not having money shows you all the things/people/places you do have that can’t be taken away. Those are the things that spark gratitude.

Take a moment now to ask yourself, what do I have to be grateful for that money can’t buy or that can’t be taken away from me due to lack of money?

For me, it was my support system, my truth, my animals, my incredible significant other, and my connection to the universe. Money cannot hinder any of those.

When you realize that money can’t take away the things that matter most, it stops being your main focus. Your focus then begins to shift to love, passion, and the things that light a flame of gratitude within you. From that focus, money begins to show up organically. When you place your focus on complete gratitude, you break down the walls of resistance. There is no room for resistance when your focus is completely on what you already have and love. Just like there is no room for dark when you are completely filled with light. The universe is here to support you, but she can only do that when you’re willing to receive. By opening your heart and surrendering to your own situation, you open that realm to miracles.

Love your situation even when you don’t think it’s the most ideal. Think about all of the things you do have: a roof over your head, food for your next meal, a friend to call and talk to. Absolutely anything that you can get behind and feel joy about, that’s where you want your focus to be. It does you no good to focus on the small number in your bank account, your lack of that material item, or that past due notice you received in the mail from your credit card company. Those are all just things you get to choose to learn from and shift. I mean, how incredible is it that you were even able to have a credit card? That past due notice means you were fortunate enough to have money to spend on credit.

I’m not saying to ignore your past due bills, those are your responsibility to take care of, I’m saying to show them a new level of gratitude. You’re not going to be in this situation forever (unless you want to be.) You have the power to shift out of this at any time. In fact, in the spiritual realm, you have already overcome this moment and moved on to a place of abundance and wealth. You are led to the highest good in every single moment, it’s your job to feel and believe that.

Stop dwelling on the situation you are in and start learning, growing, and healing. 

My homework for you today is to reflect on this exercise with an open heart:

Grab a journal or a piece of paper and a pen and physically write out your answers to these questions. Listen to what comes up for you and be open to your inner voice rising within. Don’t put much thought into each question, just allow the words to flow out of you onto the page. Power flows when we get quiet and listen. 

  • What do you have that you can be grateful for? 
  • If you are in a situation that feels less than ideal, how can you shift it to something that does feel ideal?
  • How can you bring more joy into your day? 
  • What can you do to make yourself feel safe and supported?
  • How can you show yourself some love today?

Samantha Durkee

P.O. Box 48, Boyne Falls, MI 49713